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Jun. 5th, 2006 @ 04:30 pm Phew, long time update
I haven't updated in a long while. I've come to lean more and more towards disliking the modern age of communication, and somehow, this livejournal is perpetuating that sensation. Ofcourse, I'm still updating it and alldat, irregularly...

The thing is that these things are so focussed on one's own life, all the little trivial things that make good conversation. If I would be talking about things in a social setting, I know the other side is interested, they are listening and I get direct input. On livejournal, all you can do is write a little summary of how things went, without clear intonation and expressions, little jokes are much harder to make and odds are that you only read this when you've nothing better to do, and thus are only half-interested.

Heh. The irony of me posting this is kind of large. Posting on your own livejournal that you don't like livejournal. Yay for principles. I'm sure I'll update soon -- for real that time.
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Aug. 19th, 2005 @ 03:43 am Departure in 1 day
Current Mood: sad
Current Music: Alot
God folks, I know I haven't updated in a loooong time. Too long a time. But heck, you'll have to gimme a break here. Moving to Canada isn't exactly nickle-and-dime-business, and I've been too busy with my friends (saying goodbye, basically) to actually care about something as futile as livejournal. Yeah, I love blogging and all, but real-life will never take a backseat to any blogs, ever.

All of my friends will see me off on the plane, one won't be there but we've not seen him after departure to his university town. He did however cancel all his appointments to be able to stop by, and I am -so- grateful for that.

Right now I am sitting behind my computer, defeated. I feel so defeated, it's bizarre. I've got it all worked out, the coming days will be full with a new start in a new country. I know I'll miss my friends, but that is not what makes me feel like this. People, you wouldn't believe how attached I find myself to my humongous soundsystem. It's almost sick.
Right now, I'm continuously fighting tears over losing it.

Me and this system go a long way back, and the sound is just perfect for me. It's hard saying goodbye to it. And I don't know if I'll even have a few bucks to spare to see if ValueVillage can come up with a new soundsystem. It's so goddamn expensive to study over there.

I wish I could just take it. But I can't.

Steven
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Jul. 24th, 2005 @ 12:57 pm Time nearing...
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Metallica - Sad But True
It's been too long, folks ;)

Sitting here, listening to an incredibly loud Metallica - Sad But True on my pimping soundsystem, the bass literally making empty beerbottles shake in my room, I'm pondering over things. Allow me to take you on a ride through my mind.

"Hey (hey)
I'm your life
I'm the one who takes you there
hey (hey)
I'm your life
I'm the one who cares
they (they)
they betray
I'm your only true friend now
they (they)
they'll betray
I'm forever there"

It's odd how attached I am to each speaker in this room, even (maybe especially) the pair which aren't mine, but borrowed from my friend Frank. None of this stuff here will be transferred, because they wouldn't work over there in Canada. I'll miss my baby. But I'm getting a human lovely female in return. It's a fair exchange. Wow, those sentences were so unethical.

Tomorrow night Ashley will arrive. I notice the tension of that added to the last stage of my tour de force with getting into Canada is making an imprint on my mood. I'm grumpier than usual, and I can take alot less pet peeves before I let out. Yesterday was another such days. I don't worry about this easily, but I'm wondering when it'll be enough for my friends, and when they'll tell me to go #### myself. Prolly won't happen, but eh.

Today is a scheduled day of Mario Golf with me, Ray and the German. I love these kind of gaming days. I love just letting it all hang out, drink beer during the day, smoke my ass off and just laugh about stupid pixels.

Haunting through my mind is my dear friend Shoeshoe. I regret I've not done more to meet up with her in real life. She lives all the way in Germany, but that shouldn't have stopped me, or her. Quite possibly the only thing I truly, truly regret. Life goes on, though.

How will my life be 2 years from now? Different.

Sorry for the odd posting. Just feeling odd (yet incredibly happy).

//HEY! I'm your life! I'm the one who cares!//

Signed not my usual way, but signed

- Steven
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Jul. 13th, 2005 @ 11:26 pm Mobiles
Ever told you how much I hate mobiles? NO, wait, I don't innately dislike the mobile phone, I dislike the seemingly total social ineptitude of people who own them. A few of my friends have actually gotten to the point where I consider them "good" mobile users, at least around me. It might actually be the only thing I demand people to keep in mind when interacting with me. My friends understand this... mostly.

Until today, when I had two friends around, and one actually sent a text message to the other friend in the chair after she had been almost rudely quiet.

If two people are in an argument, or if one is in some sort of mental problematic stage...and they/she doesn't want to talk about it. Why, oh why, do you still stop by at a friend? And if you do so, why do you decide upon being totally grumpy and quiet? And after you've all decided that... how does your mind totally warp if you decide to be SO rude as to send a text message to ONE other person in a group of three? Sorry people, but that just seems to me like whispering in a group. It's not social.

Mobile phones? I say the world would be a better place if they would all be gone.

Qui.
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Jul. 5th, 2005 @ 07:30 pm Crazy times
Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: The Darkness - Love on the Rocks with no ice
Whew. Life has been insanely strange lately. First of all I have a new job! W00t! Yes, I do. Catering is my job, and I have to dress up for it. Tie, white shirt, black pants, fancy shoes... bah. Hate it, and love it. Because I know I look damn good in it. *coughs*

Aside from that, last week I almost died of a heartattack and emotional breakdown. The next day from hearing I got into York University, Toronto (yay!) I received an UPS package of them. In there was a merry letter telling me I was in and that my tuïtion would be a meagre 14,843 CAD. Yes, fourteen-thousand-dollars! I had apparently just missed a link on the website specifying the difference between when you're Canadian and not. Apparently, Canadian government decided that tax-payers all their lives should be cut when attending university, and immigrants not. Isn't that joyful?

I called all banks I know, even our ministry of education and some private funders... nobody would help me with the money. My mom had refused, my dad had refused, and there I was sitting at the couch in the living room, bawling. I was at 99% of it, and I failed -then-. I just broke down, called my mom, and she caved to my grief. So all is well now ^_^ Except I'll be poor as a rat, when I'm there, but eh.

My lovely girly Ashley won another award, as a sidenote. This is apparently a very prestigious one, and I am -so- proud of her. Each year she seems to reel in awards like crazy. Also, she kept a 90% average, granting her a four-thousand dollar scholarship. People, bow down to her superior intellect and craftiness :D

Last note: I have fallen addicted to Eve Online, the best MMORPG I have ever found. No roleplaying, as usual in MMORPG's, but still it's grand. Why? Mature playerbase. Like, oh my God.

Now the last bit: Why, why, why is this world so bureaucratic? Okay, here's a nice example: A policeman on the street decides he wants to check someone out. He gets their passport, pulls it through a computer, and can see instantly whether this person has a record or not.
All dandy! But when you want -just- a note saying you have no record, you have to go to City Hall, wait for 20 minutes, fill in 2 forms, state a reason, provide the contacting address of the institution or person you need to give it to, wait for 2 to 4 weeks, then get it mailed.

>_< ARGH!

I love you all!

Qui.
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Jun. 22nd, 2005 @ 01:07 pm Music
Again, it amazes me what music does to me. I often hear people saying how important music is to them, but to me: it's life.

Some examples:

- I didn't listen to music much for a week, and lost all energy to do stuff.
- When I am sick, I know because I don't feel like listening music. Once I'm getting better, I know because I want to play music.
- When in the bar with friends, I'll often be too lazy to walk to the bar to buy mah beer, which everyone knows I'm addicted to. Yet when I hear a good song, I always walk to the bar without hesitation to check what song is playing.
- Music is pretty much the only thing I can cry about.
- I have an 8.1 speakerset in my room, the .1 being my subwoofer which is as big as a table-sized refrigerator.
- I don't have a large collection of downloaded movies on my computer; yet I do have around 30 music videos.
- I have a large vote on my gameserver (Haven to insiders) to prove I'm right when saying Shakira is the sexiest artist. Admittedly though: not the most talented.

Just some random examples. You'll prolly be a bit of a sceptic at all the above, but I really think I am one of the largest music addicts I know.

Qui-o.
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Jun. 21st, 2005 @ 02:40 pm (no subject)
I'm wearing boots of escaping!

This will give you a Huge Laugh +5 : http://media.hugi.is/hahradi/fyndnar/dungeons_n_dragons.wmv
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Jun. 14th, 2005 @ 02:23 pm My greatest fear
Current Mood: scared
Current Music: Ayreon - The Castle Hall
While listening to the radio I was once again remembered of my biggest and most real fear: Whales.

Yes, those huge fish who don't usually even tend to care about humans. But picture this: I'm showering, the radio playing loudly, when suddenly an advertisement to support some group against whale-catching comes by, followed by that whale sound. All during my shower I couldn't close my eyes without feeling almost nauseous with fear, I kid you not. Watching those huge beasts on the television is worse than the worst horror movie to me. Yet I find myself incredibly interested in them, and want to go whale watching some day. I imagine this is the same kind of fear an extreme sportsman looks up. "Whale watching, extreme sports for the unathletic" ?

Aside from that: I'll stop by at temp-agencies in a moment or two. I'm postponing horribly, downloading music and posting at livejournal, but I -will- go! I will! Listen to me, oh lazy mind of Steven: You are going to get employed!

There, got that off my heart. Have a nice day, lads and ladies. And just to see if she's still reading my livejournals: Get in touch with me, Shoeshoe. Fuck it, we need to go bowling, dude.

Qui.
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Jun. 9th, 2005 @ 09:17 pm Writing
Why is it that writing never leaves an impression of the creator of the work? When reading livejournals or blogs, how often is it that you recognise a certain person in the writing, or even the style? Sure, there are small things, little jokes, but never something that would make you recognise the writer when speaking to him or her.

That as opposed to reading different works of one author. Again, you recognise style, but you never get to know the author. Listen to interviews with your favourite writer. Hell, watch an interview with your favourite rockstar. They write their own songs, put their whole feeling into them, yet when you hear them talk for the first time it's always a surprise.

For some of you, this might be out there. But maybe there are also a few who recognise this, they've noticed the same thing when reading the livejournals or blogs of their friends. What brings me to the question, for all artsy people who might read this: Is this the case in all arts?
When you read artists' statements, when you watch works people laboured on for hours, days or months... do you feel you get to know the artist? Would you be able, after observing a painting, to pick out the real artists' statement out of ten?

And do you think the writers of books think as deeply about their own works as literary people do? Do you think they think about themes, arcs and evolution of character?

Just wondering,

Qui.
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Jun. 8th, 2005 @ 10:29 pm Harry, Sally and moi
Current Mood: giggly
Current Music: Blutengel - Our time
So, lately I've seen an odd amount of reviews saying movies are 'When Harry met Sally" clones. Keep in mind I read reviews of movies to kill time, in trains and such. I had always wondered what this mysterious "When Harry met Sally" movie was. Now today, you can already feel it coming: I was zapping, saw some woman say something to someone named "Harry", and out of nowhere I recognised this movie. Mind I had never seen it.

Anyway, I watched it, and enjoyed it. It's the typical romantically inclined feel-good movie. Actually, it's quite good at it, too. Problem with these movies is that when you're not with your loved one, they make you feel the opposite: Either longing for a particular person or grieving over what you lost.
I was longing for someone, ofcourse.

Anyway, this brings the conclusion that romantically inclined feel-good movies are not "feel good" per sé. It's much like marijuana (or however you odd English folks spell it): It merely strengthens a certain emotion, which is tied to your current state of lovelife. So if you're generally depressed about being single, feel good movies will make you want to kill yourself. When you long for someone, you'll focus on that feeling and both feel good and bad at the same time.

This would also explain the suicide rates in America during the holidays. Not only are you painfully reminded you are in no position to feel good when you're alone, you also can't really find people to spend time with because they're all with loved ones. So you switch on the television, and what do you see? Exactly! Feel good movies!

This all said, you'll have to agree with me feel-good movies are a governmental conspiracy to regulate population. *nods and bows* I know I'm a visionary.

Qui.
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Jun. 6th, 2005 @ 02:55 pm Emotional bla-bla lyricspost
Hi all,

You know I usually don't tend to post lyrics (anymore) but this time I just have to, considering it's entirely my mood. As some background information: The last few days I spent with my lovely girlfriend Ashley on the other side of the world, in the far away land of Canada, I listened to this song alot.

I don't really know about her, but I have the vague idea this song might have the same meaning to her. To me it entirely embodies the whole heap of emotions I was feeling while I was there: Intense happiness to be with her, but also the looming sadness of having to leave.

Description of the scene: I am standing outside in the cold, in front of Ash's garage. I've my headphones on my ears when Ashley joins me outside. As I place my headphones around my neck so she can hear, I switch to this song, and we listen to it rather quietly, sometimes placing a single remark. Cliché as it may sound: words didn't really seem in place at that moment. All we really did was cuddle a bit, as I smoked my cigarette.

Anyway, put your hands together for the Farmer Boys:

Stay Like This Forever

I see your eyes
Pupils so wide
I could fall into them
I see your lips
My fingertips
Only want to touch them
You swallow me
Like ecstasy
So delicious is this sin
The pornography
Between you and me
Is running down your chin

I could stay like this forever
With no end in sight
C'mon, let's stay like this together
In ecstatic delight
Don't go away
Into the day
Where the sun tells its lies
Stay here with me
Stay here where we're free
Where I float in your eyes

We ride the waves
Out of our brains
On the chemicals and sex
The music's loud
Our bodies proud
We are young, hungry wrecks
Your sweat tonight
Under the lights I want you again
A million ways
Before the day
Brings tonight to an end

I could stay like this forever
With no end in sight
C'mon, let's stay like this together
In ecstatic delight
Don't go away
Into the day
Where the sun tells its lies
Stay here with me
Stay here where we're free
Where I float in your eyes
I could stay like this forever

-----------
Now off to the postoffice to send York University, Toronto the translated course description I laboured so hard on!

Qui.
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May. 16th, 2005 @ 01:06 am Guantanamo Bay. Television show
Current Mood: sick
Okay, this is a post of a very serious nature, contrary to what you've seen so far of mine. Most of my friends know I'm very politically and psychologically interested, and one of my biggest beliefs is that Bush is a terrible, terrible man. Now, I know most Americans (if any read my blog) tuned out, but I can tell you I have something you should see. Especially if you're pro-Bush.

If you don't want to read all I have to say, just scroll down until you find a link, ignore the Dutch yapper, and watch how your goverment changed their definition of torture to allow this. Don't watch if you have a weak stomach. And please, if you're pro-Bush, watch it, even if just to make a fellow human being on the other side of the world happy. The show is mostly in English, so c'mon, what's stopping you?

Let me kick off by explaining us Dutchies have a few networks (3, to be precise) which are government-owned. Thanks to that, most programs there are freely viewable in high-quality over the internet. One of our shows is "Netwerk", which translated means "Network". What they basically do is dive into news, find out details. And sometimes, they work together with other countries' stations to get footage. This footage was made in Britain, by British people. The goal was to simulate two days of the real treatment in Guantamamo Bay prison. They picked 9 volunteers, most of who say they are in favor of "all means necessary" to protect people from terrorism.

The narrator in Dutch tells a few things. First of all, the American government says the people in G.B. (Guantanamo Bay) are terrorists. So they do not fall under the Geneva Convention. Since that puts all international interference aside they, and this is fact people, not some anti-Bush bullshit, changed their legal definition of torture. Watch the show to get the exact new definition, as stated in the United States' legal books .
In addition to this, they have also released manuals to their prison guards (soldiers) on how to get people to talk.

As a last bit of information: The "guards" in the movie are real and experienced American soldiers, some of who have actually served in G.B. All that is shown is what happens there for real, and worse, since they could not actually kick and hit the volunteers.

Pardon the capitals:
DO NOT WATCH IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH!
The show "Netwerk" as broadcast Sunday, May 15th. Barely a week after Bush came to the Netherlands to remember the victims of WWII.

Sorry for this post, people. I know not everyone appreciates this, but this is the kind of thing which has to be shown to the American people, and the world.

Qui.
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May. 15th, 2005 @ 06:30 pm Science O_O
Current Mood: Amazed
Current Music: Coldplay - The scientist
I just watched a documentary on National Geographic or Discovery, about foetal surgery. To start off: Lately I've been extremely fascinated by things such as raising young children, childbirth and all effects of various things. I assume this is partly a natural thing for me to start happening at 19th, almost 20, considering this is the time when nature starts doing stuff to prepare for becoming a daddy.

Way too early to my tastes, but hey. On the other hand; this is something I do want to research during my study in psychology. See, for all you who don't know: I passed the last test required to be allowed into Uni with a whopping 80%.

Back to the subject! There was this bit about babies and their reflexes. Such as the "startle reflex" which is entirely useless now. Then it went on to stuff like hearing heartbeats of babies and I was all nice and cozy looking at the parents, sipping coffee in my pyjamas at 6.35 pm. Then... they did it. BOOM! "But sometimes, things don't go right."
They started talking about nasty things which could happen, like the child not developing some sort of "wall" between the lungs and the intestines. Result: Underdeveloped lungs == dead baby.
This is where the cool part started. You know how you hear about foetal surgery? This was the real deal, and SO amazing. What they do is they punch a tiny, tiny hole in the belly of the mommy (think a bit thicker than a shoelace) and insert a fibre-optic camera. They push that down to the baby, and then into its mouth, to its lungs . Then they inflate a tiny balloon, and done it is. Two months later, they do it again to remove the balloon.

I don't know if you people ever did something like threading a needly, or getting a bit of cable to go through a short pipe or something.... but that's hard, take it from me. And THESE people could do all that . Just... WOW .

-------------

I miss my girly-friend who is currently in Ft. Lauderdale after a Caribbean Cruise! . Y'all are free to envy her, I know I do! And I miss her too!

Cheers, y'all!

Qui.
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May. 4th, 2005 @ 04:10 am I am the word of the day :O
Word of the Day for Wednesday February 18, 2004

quietus \kwy-EE-tuhs\, noun:
1. Final discharge or acquittance, as from debt or obligation.
2. Removal from activity; rest; death.
3. Something that serves to suppress or quiet.

------------

So Wednesday, February 18, 2004 was my day, huh?
And from this day forward, February 18 will be known as Quietus-day!

Qui.
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Apr. 27th, 2005 @ 12:46 pm Complimenting
Today's quote:

"I love complimenting. There is simply no downside to it"

-Steve-o to Ashley.
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Apr. 24th, 2005 @ 03:21 pm Shameless theft
Got this from Ashley and it made me way too happy.



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Apr. 22nd, 2005 @ 12:49 pm Riiiiiiiiight
Your dating personality profile:

Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate.
Outgoing - You can liven up any party. You've got a way with people and have little difficulty charming your dates.
Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love.		Your date match profile:

Funny - You consider a good sense of humor a major necessity in a date. If her jokes make you laugh, she has won your heart.
Athletic - You aren't looking for a couch potato. You seek someone who is active and who keeps her body in top shape.
Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.
Your Top Ten Traits

1. Liberal
2. Outgoing
3. Big-Hearted
4. Sensual
5. Funny
6. Adventurous
7. Intellectual
8. Wealthy/Ambitious
9. Practical
10. Romantic
Your Top Ten Match Traits

1. Funny
2. Athletic
3. Practical
4. Intellectual
5. Sensual
6. Adventurous
7. Outgoing
8. Conservative
9. Wealthy/Ambitious
10. Big-Hearted

Take the Online Dating Personality Quiz at Dating Diversions
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Apr. 19th, 2005 @ 09:40 am How good life would be
Yes, I know, I'm horrible. Then again: This is awesome.

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Apr. 12th, 2005 @ 01:47 pm Quitting
Current Mood: crazy
Current Music: Gwen Stefani - What are you waiting for?
*steps up to the mic, and looks around nervously, drying his hands on his pants, before taking the mic and tapping it. He goes red as the tapping sound is amplified, and the entire audience, as one, turns to look at the speaker*

"Erm... ladies... and gentlemen" the boy starts, his hands shaking. "I have an announcement to make..." he coughs for a moment, and fidgets with something in his pocket, which falls out. He quickly reaches to pick it up, knocking over the mic stand, causing a nice screeching sound to go through the room. Some helpful men rush forward, and soon the boy can continue*

"I am... erm... quitting smoking" the boy speaks, and the silence hangs in the air as nobody truly believes it.
---------------

This was a crappy way of saying that after having smoked for around 6 years, the time has come for me to quit . I have not fallen before all the regular arguments, but I have fallen for the opportunity to enter a research and earn nine-hundred euros with that.

Oh, and the girlfriend has been pressuring me for months. And her family.

*Lowers voice* "Someone hand me a cig... please?
*slaps self* No, I can do this!

Qui.
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Apr. 11th, 2005 @ 11:10 pm Too cool! Watch!
Current Mood: amused
Thanks to the German hereby I present you:

http://www.compfused.com/directlink/734/

Watch. Just watch, and laugh.

Qui.
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